Taking Down a Supe

No one was quite sure where they came from, but superheroes started showing up in our city, everyone praised them at first. But then budgets for things like cops and private security fell into the toilet and guys like me, middle aged men who worked as guards, were often out of work.

It was probably ironic that so many of us that used to uphold the law turned to crime just to pay the bills. Most of us usually hoped a few low level jobs would stay under the superheroes’ radar, but we prepped with some scumbag arms dealer just in case. He gave me a bright orange gun that looked like it belonged at a kid’s party instead of a robbery, but he assured me it could “take down a supe.” I’d have to give him a cut for the next couple years.

My plan was to rob ten convenience stores each week, but only taking $200 from each. Like I said, keep it small and stay off the radar. I had only hit up three by the time I found myself walking down an alleyway and Viper flew in. I don’t know why she called herself that. It’s not like she spat poison or anything. Her powers were just generic things like speed, strength, and flight. And, of course, she had the requisite moment of allowing me to surrender myself. That’s when I took my shot.

I suppose superheroes don’t even bother to dodge because they think they are invulnerable. With her super speed, Viper ran right into my shot while knocking the gun out of my hands. It was a direct hit, and she just seemed to vanish. I saw the gun on the ground and then quite oddly...I saw myself! My body eyed the gun as well and lunged for it. I reacted by doing the same and realized how much faster I was moving, and it only took me a split second to realize why: I had swapped bodies with Viper. With my new super speed, I was easily able to reach the gun first. With my super strength I took down my former body with one punch. And then I flew off with the gun.

I sat on a roof some time later looking at the strange orange gun some time later. I hadn’t expected it to work in quite the way it did, but the dealer was right, it did allow me to “take down a supe.” Viper was in my body probably rotting away in the local jail. I could certainly continue her crime fighting career, engage in the same sort of public good I did before. But then again, with the powers I had now, super villainy could be a much more profitable option...