Some bad news

Gerald came home from work one day to find a young woman sitting on the couch wielding a scythe. He knew she could probably lob his head off with one swift blow if she wanted to, so he decided to proceed with caution and nervously asked her, “Who are you? What are you doing here?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” The woman replied, “I’m death.”

Gerald gave a puzzled look, “Death? You don’t look like death.”

“No, not anymore. I used to! You remember the Great Shift don’t you? Oh, my, I guess that was some time ago, right? The massive bodyswapping event that happened generations ago? Don’t they teach anything in history anymore? Anyway, turns out even I wasn’t immune to its effects, which was quite awkward because that was quite the busy day. The woman who ended up in my body went quite crazy. We have her locked down in the netherworld for the time being. My job has become a lot easier since the Shift. It seems people are much happier to follow a cute woman into the afterlife than the gruesome hooded figure I once was. Speaking of which, Mr. Tyson, I have some bad news...”